He wants to come back, but nothing has really changed.

Dear B, My partner ended our relationship six months ago because he wasn’t ready for anything serious. It turned my life upside down, but I stopped contacting him after a month, and have finally accepted that it’s over. He messaged last week, asking about my life now and saying how much he misses me. I didn’t answer, he messaged again asking to meet up. When I asked what he wants, he said we should just meet and see what happens. My friends think he must care or he wouldn’t bother. I still think about him, but I have a different life now and feel like it’s all about him again. Should I see him?

What has changed is the amount of contact. He may miss you, but still be unwilling to offer the relationship that you originally wanted. Those two things can exist together, his return could place you back in an uncertain life space. If you feel that you would like to meet, take charge of the situation this time. Tell him that you need to know what he is proposing now, that he could not offer you six months ago. If his answer is still a vague “let’s see what happens,” he is asking for renewed access to you while keeping his options very open. 
 His behaviour suggests that he does care, and the meeting will give him what he misses, but you need to decide whether the relationship on offer will be enough. Set clear terms before you go for round two, this may be what he is subconsciously asking you to do.

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